Epic Megabus Time

I find myself, as I often do, on a Megabus. If you've ever had the distinct pleasure of riding on one of these carriages, you will know that there are good drivers and bad drivers. Nice drivers and stern ones. Drivers that play wonderful wake-up music (like this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Lf6n1sTPM) at each destination, and drivers who say nothing at all as you disembark.

Well, today, ladies and gentlemen, I have had a truly unique transportation experience. Even before we started moving, our driver tells us, "if you have a connecting bus, call and cancel now. Weather is bad, and I am not on a schedule. I am paid by the hour. I will not be killing all of you and myself to get you there on time!" I understand the sentiment, but wasn't that rather brusque? Just the tip of the iceberg!


Then, he informs us that it is utterly prohibited to remove our shoes on the bus. If he catches us without our shoes, he will pull over, eject us from the vehicle, and call the nearest state trooper to arrest us. The rationale of the shoe rule is that on other busses, passengers have been injured by flying shoes. Would that not be just as much the onus of the driver? If shoes are FLYING, I think the issue is less that people have removed then, and more how the driver is manning his vehicle.

I digress.
As one awaits departure upon a Megabus, the driver either shows a video or gives a speech containing safety information, much like the preflight message on an airplane.

This driver showed the video and decided to add a little somethin' special.

On the PA system, he tells us "DO NOT LEAVE URINE ALL OVER THE TOILET SEAT. NOBODY WANTS TO SIT DOWN ON A STRANGER's URINE" reasonable enough, I guess?, but doesn't that go without saying? He also gave us this gem: "LADIES: IF YOUR MONTHLY FRIEND IS VISITING, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES AND DO NOT LEAVE BLOOD ON THE FLOOR OF MY BATHROOM".
At this point, a passenger cries out and says what we're all thinking: "Enough! I don't need to hear this. I want to enjoy my ride"
Now it gets interesting.
The driver: "YOU ARE BEING RUDE. YOU DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB. I HAVE BEEN WORKING THIS JOB LONGER THAN ANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING YOUR JOBS. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DISRESPECT ME. IF YOU ARE RUDE TO ME AGAIN, I WILL PULL OVER, LEAVE YOU ON THE HIGHWAY, AND CALL THE POLICE"

My imagination does wonder what kind of legal clout this driver has. Not that I'm going to test it!